Try a little tenderness...

There are numerous times when I wonder what the hell goes on in my life in regards to my personals. Like a grasshopper I jump into any given opportunity to find what I am looking for, only to often find myself being let down by my expectations. I have had enough of it though. Been drawn by politeness and calmness in one's character, I realize that things are not what they seem when it comes to courtship. The majority of men want to lead you down to a sexual encounter, in order to fulfill their fantasies and/or find a way to express their sexual instincts with the company of a woman, if they happen to be heterosexuals.

What about the sentiments? When a man feels for you, he shows it one fine day. Even a macho guy knows how to break his girlfriend's heart with a notion or a statement. If he just wants to have fun, as they call it, a plain "have fun" whatever that means in their heads, he just acts as a programmed male who wants to get laid and that's it. Finitto!

I, as a woman, cannot act like that. It's not in my nature to think as such. I need my brain to be stimulated by the way a man comes on to me. If he's part of the above mentioned category of "get laid and leave", then it's no good, it's a turn off from the start.

I admire men who know how to play the waiting game and don't rush into suggesting you sex from the very beginning. Yes, sex is a natural process and making love is a social pattern to come closer to an erotic partner and enjoy the physical contact, but what lies in between of those two?

Men tend to like women for their physical features, such as breasts, buttocs, hair, lips etc, making a direct insinuation to sexual contact. I often listen to R n B songs stating how much the guy loves the ass of a lady, or her other body features, making no referral to who she really is, her character. As long as he likes a certain part of you, it's enough to come on to you?

Women on the contrary, not only like a man for his appearance but they find personality traits to cling in to him and like him, often putting second the fact he's not Mr. Perfect in terms of his looks. A combination that can carry both is more than welcomed, but we are not looking for Mr. Damn Sexy down the road from the first time we lay eyes on him. It's his charm and way of approaching that makes us feel enchanted.

We need to be a part of the fairy tale, the one that Cinderella finds her Prince Charming out of the blue, one way or the other. We like to be treated as someone special in his life. We enjoy seeing him act as a gentleman and find little excuses to hit it on to us, while knowing his goal is to guide us into his love nest (or ours...) for having the sex he has on his mind.

Recently I couldn't keep myself from asking the "now what?" question to my erotic partner, only to find him turn down any possibility of our contact becoming a relationship. "I just want us to have a good time when we see each other" he replied and I felt devastated by his statement. He was telling the truth from his point of view, no wonder, but as a person who acts sentimentally, I was let down by him by the time he told me so. I need to have something to believe in when it comes to relationships, I cannot act like a horny human being, who all she wants is to make out and being fucked by her suitor or lover. Sorry, it's no go!

There's so much pleasure and excitement to the act of love making between two partners who are attracted to each other. You feel like exploring a terra incognita, an unknown territory that is, which is by nature a factor to feel turned on by the whole thing. The way you make your partner become aroused and eventually cum into a blast of bodily fluids and psychological ecstasy, is a precious gift to be cherished by both. The way a male knows how to bring down the inhibitions of a female, the exchange of physical and mental stimuli, the abandonment of Ego for the sake of the Unity, is unparalleled!

I don't know shit about what happens in the minds of men of in their middle or late 30's these days. I guess they fantasize that there are too many willing cocumbines around to offer them the sexual excitement they're looking for, but in reality many of them are lonely people, leading an ordinary and at many times, dull life, which is deprived from a close steady relationship, which in other cases, would offer them the incentive to be committed. I am sorry to admit that there are people who are focusing on virtual sex on internet sites more, instead of exposing themselves into a real encounter within their social environment. It was never of my liking though.

Getting to know one person socially is one thing and flirting is another. In any case, a man who is not acting like a sexually deprived person is so much desirable than the other way around. Men who don't have sex regularly, go crazy over it when they live without it. But before that, there are so many things to consider on a woman's point of view and guess what the consideration is paying off when you loose a bit of your egoistic drives and start thiknking as a human being with a brain in his head and not in his penis. Even the male organ needs to be second best in order to conquer the castle of desire and unrevealed hedonism.

As far as I am concerned, all I am asking in a man, is a VERY BIG HUG to find a safe haven within and a LITTLE TENDERNESS to begin with... and the rest is yet to come!


Michael Buble - Try a little tenderness

Marialena, 4/10//2008