Friday, February 17, 2006

4 Signs For Successful Flirting

Suddenly Single Body language: 4 signs to decode it
By David Givens, Ph.D.

Your date's gestures can send you silent signals of desire—or communicate a complete lact of interest. Do you know how to read the message in these moves?

Can you tell when someone is interested in you? Are you sure? Since no one likes to be rejected, it's a good idea to understand the subtle signs of attraction (or lack thereof) before you launch yourself into the line of fire. As an anthropologist who studies mating and dating rituals, I'll help you decode the top four body-language cues. Use this information to either proceed with your flirtation—or flee with ego intact.

Before we get into the specifics, know this: For all of our technological advances and psychological insights, when it comes to the silent signs of sexual attraction, we are no different than beasts. For the past 500 million years, every member of the animal kingdom has utilized certain signals to communicate their interest in mating. These boil down to the message: "I am harmless; I won't bite." (Charles Darwin called these signs "submissive displays," because they make the subject seem more approachable.) Seeing any one of them may signify physical attraction. Seeing all four at once is compelling evidence that you are liked—and very possibly lusted after.

Signal 1: Lifted Shoulders

One of the most easily detected signs of attraction is lifted shoulders. This motion indicates that a person has activated what biologists call the "cute response," a bashful, almost childlike behavior that reveals a softer, more compliant side. This is an emotional, involuntary muscular response to someone you like, and it has a universally disarming effect. (It is also a natural response when you're oohing and ahhing over a puppy or cuddling with a baby.) In a dating scenario, this unconscious movement tells you that the person you're interested in wants to get a little closer—and that you shouldn't be shy.

Sign 2: Pigeon Toes

Pigeon toes may not sound like the sexiest of gestures, but an inward rotation of the feet suggests definite interest. Anatomically referred to as "tibial torsion," this toes-turned-in posture occurs when someone feels both smitten and somewhat intimidated by you. By "shrinking" the body, the subject is creating a less threatening profile. Put simply, pigeon toes do for the body what the smile does for the face. Both actions say: "If you approach, I won't snub you." Worth noting: In direct contrast to pigeon toes is the more aggressive military posture. This toes-out, hands-behind-the-back posture is reminiscent of soldiers at ease, and its aloofness should tell you that it's probably best to keep your distance.

Sign 3: The Palm Reveal

As you talk to your potential love interest, watch his or her hands. Specifically, take note of whether the palms are facing upward, while gesturing or resting on a table. The brain is programmed to perceive vulnerability and openness in this motion. In courtship, these gestures are psychologically friendlier than palm-down cues. (Indeed, think about the downward hand motions that President Bush uses when talking to the country about Iraq or that a grade-school teacher uses when trying to calm rowdy students. Not a maneuver that communicates warmth and connection.)

Sign 4: The Forehead Bow

Your date has more than friendship in mind if he or she uses the forehead bow. Here's the tell-tale gesture: The person tips the head slightly forward and looks up at you from under the eyebrows. (Think of Lauren Bacall looking at Humphrey Bogart with her famous come-hither look.) A fragment of the full-body bow, which is used in cultures around the world to show respect and deference, this head motion and those bedroom eyes can indicate that you may not be very far away from an actual bedroom. In direct contrast to this move is a posture of domination: A subtle tilting back of the head and casting of a downward gaze. That look should tell you where you stand—and that, in fact, you should go stand elsewhere because this individual is not a good prospect for love.

David Givens, author of Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, is an anthropologist who specializes in nonverbal communication. When he's not people watching, he studies the courtship rituals of reptiles, mammals and birds.

Article published on Msn Dating & Personals page

Marialena's note: Now that you are aware of these signs , DON'T fall for the wrong guy/girl again! Have a flirtatious weekend! ;-}


orlando said...

Ομορφιά μου ληγμένα πήρες; Να σε φλερτάρω κοπιάροντας τον... President Bush;

Marialena said...

Καλησπερούδια! Όχι βρε κουτό, αλλά αν αυτή είναι η πρόθεσή σου, τότε να το κάνεις με τον δικό σου τρόπο... Δε φτάνει που μας "ανοίγω" τα μάτια για όταν ο άλλος/άλλη δεν ενδιαφέρεται, γκρινιάζεις και από πάνω! Για να βλέπω πρωτοβουλίες χωρίς μουρμούρα παρακαλώ, χα,χα,χα! Καλό σου σ/κ, Μ. ;-}

orlando said...

Δεν ξέρω τι ώρα είναι αλλά είναι αργά...Sorry δεν θέλω να σε χώσω σε τριπάκια after midnight.... Γύρισα σπίτι και για πρώτη φορά blogάρισα εκτός γραφείου... Πεθαίνω στη κούραση, αλλά είμαι μ ένα ποτό στο χέρι και γράφω.. Θέλω να ξέρεις πως εσύ και κάποιοι ακόμη μ αλλάζετε ..ισως γιατί το ήθελα , ίσως γιατί είστε οι σωστοί άνθρωποι... Μπορεί να είμαι μλκς αλλά μπορεί να είμαι και μάγκας που αφήνομαι... Να ξέρεις ότι εσύ και κείνο το φατσόνι η Αρτεμις, μαζί με τους λίγους αλλά απίστευτους άλλους, γίνατε η απρόσμενη παρέα της θεωρητικά μόνο πολιτικά ορθής ζωής μου..Χωρίς χιούμορ αλλά με πραγματική τρυφερότητα, ο μεθυσμένος φίλος σου...:)

a said...

I've always enjoyed flirting with Greek women because no matter what I say they always listen to me.

With American women I had to try real hard and if I said something silly they would give me the LOOK, but I can say any silly comment that comes to mind and Greek women do not judge me based on that.

Oooh Laaa Laaaa

The Greek Women is Queen!!

Enik said...

On my planet, Altrusia, flirting is not authorized. Only thoughts of flirting are allowed.

Marialena said...

@ zorba: a flair of stupidity may be cute sometimes, but if it turns to excess, then it may proven lethal for your attempt to impress a lady!!! Just be yourself no matter what and hope you won't get that LOOK often from the ladies...

@ Enik: Why don't you try visiting Earth for a change?

@ orlando: Από τα πιο όμορφα πράγματα που μου έχουν πει τελευταία...σ' ευχαριστώ για όσα μόνον εσύ ξέρεις και τώρα μ' αφήνεις να καταλάβω! Αφού το θες αφέσου γλυκό αγόρι, είσαι πολύ μάγκας γιατί έχεις τα αρ..δια να το θες και να το κάνεις πράξη, ζήσε αυτά που η καρδιά προστάζει και μην φοβάσαι για το αύριο. Μόνο για καλό είναι! Εγώ είμαι εδώ, υπάρχω, είμαι ζωντανή με σάρκα και οστά, γι'αυτό μίλησέ μου, όπως μόλις έκανες, τρυφερά μα και εξομολογητικά και όλα θα πάνε καλά!
Καλό σου νηφάλιο απόγευμα Κυριακής!

Enik said...

Eleni You have beautiful hat. And pretty dog.

How is that for flirt. I need more practice because on Altrusia you can be executed for flirt.

I will try to come to Earth in the next few months if the elders of the Lost City will allow my expedition.

You see I am a traveler to different dimensions of time and space. But, in Greece with so many beautiful womens, the elders wish to keep Greece for the most senior of elders.

I will try and make a visit to Earth but remember if I don't there's always next 1000 years during the harvest festival of Zorkon.